Of Horror and Laughter
by Smile Life Away
Summary: Scorpius, Lily, a laptop, Michael Jackson, and ZOMBIES! For imdeadsothere


**A/N: For imdeadsothere, Happy Birthday**

**Thanks to Ninja Potter for tolerating all of my PMs**

**Thanks to Amy for betaing**

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing**

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_You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run  
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun  
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!  
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind  
You're out of time_

_Thriller _– Michael Jackson

He wasn't afraid. It was a nineteen eighties music video with bad costumes and prosthetics. He was not afraid!

"Scorpius, he's just singing. Will you look?" Lily leaned over and began to shake the blond boy who had his eyes shut tightly.

"I am looking."

"No you're not." She continued to shake him. "Unless you're scared you have no reason to not look."

Instantly his eyes flashed open, and he stared at the screen of what Lily had called a _laptop_ through squinted eyes.

_They're just singing. They're just dancing. Zombies aren't real. Those aren't really zombies. They're Muggles with make-up. What's scary about Muggles? Nothing. Nothing. _

He could feel Lily's gaze on his face and so he widened his eyes, forcing himself to watch.

Spending the afternoon with the Potters had _not_ been part of his plan for the day. Spending the afternoon with the Potter's extended family was even a less desirable route. But Albus had convinced him that it would be _fun,_ that his cousins were _grand,_ and a bunch of other _bullshit_ apparently.

Albus's cousins were not grand. They were foul little beasts that seemed to like the Potters about as much as Scorpius enjoyed spending the entire day with Lily. And since he _did not_ like Lily it wasn't very much at all.

It was not fun. The adults had all gone _somewhere_. The Dursleys – the name of Albus's cousins – had disappeared to a friend's house. Albus and James had given a bad excuse as to why they couldn't stick around either. And so Scorpius was stuck in the bedroom that Lily was sharing with the girl Dursley watching a terrify- boring music video.

It was bad enough that half of the characters were dripping with stage blood, but the fact that he was sharing a chair with Lily who refused to stop berating him wasn't helping. The fact that during the process of this thirteen minute video, he'd practically hugged her- like she was his own personal teddy bear, and dragged her onto his lap (not that she'd done anything to stop him) would also hurt him in the long run.

The girl in the video screamed as the zombies approached _closer –closer- closer_ and-

"Scorpius, you're closing your eyes again." She flicked his forehead. "And I really can't breathe."

His eyes flashed open and he let go of the thirteen –year- old.

"I wasn't -."

"I saw you." She cut him off and pressed the red button in the corner of the screen. "It's over."

"Yeah," he shrugged like it was nothing and tried to get up. It was impossible. Lily was still sitting on his lap. "Hey, Lils -,"

"No way," she cut him off. "You still have to see _Remember the Time_." She brought up a new window and he leaned back against the chair feeling either too lazy or too nice to shove her off of the chair. He was pretty sure it was the laziness.

The door flew open then and Scorpius screamed, and, forgetting his former reasoning, shoved Lily off the chair and came to a standing position pointing his wand.

It was the ugliest thing he'd ever seen, a boy that appeared to be dead. His dark eyes were rolled into the center, the whites of his eyes were yellow, his face was drawn and almost an ash grey, and as he lifted a hand Scorpius realized that his nails were black.

Lily scrambled up, her dark red hair in disarray, and Scorpius took a step closer trying to think of any curse that could kill a zombie.

"Get behind me Lily," he muttered.

"Scorp-."

"_Now!"_

The thing opened his mouth revealing a row of rotted teeth and blood began to pour from his bright red tongue and down his chin.

"Scorpius!" Lily grabbed his arm and lowered his wand. "That's my other cousin. He's sick."

"He…he…he's a zombie!"

"There's no such thing as zombies." She reasoned.

"There is blood coming out of his mouth!"

"He doesn't like the cranberry juice his mum makes him drink."

"Why isn't he speaking?"

"Laryngitis," she pointed to her throat to explain exactly what laryngitis was and then to her _cousin_ who was staring at them in confusion.

"But…he's so ugly."

In all honesty, he reasoned, after arriving home to parents who were wondering as to why he had a black-eye, he deserved that punch. Unfortunately, Scorpius, in his stupidity, had expected it to come from the cousin, not from Lily.

He really did dislike the youngest Potter.

His only consolation was that she now had a broken hand.

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**A/N: Please Review :)**


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